it wasn't lemon gatorade
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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