im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just had sex on a roof
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
