i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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