I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
