sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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