Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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