we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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