Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
