after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
