this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
did i walk over a car last night?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
