$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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