k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just cropdusted the office
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
