was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
