She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
