The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
vagina is talking i cant
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
