dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
