Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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