So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
