I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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