omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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