I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
