STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
