The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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