Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
