Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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