I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
