Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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