I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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