I'm going to jail i love you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
