Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
