why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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