He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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