I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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