Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
