It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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