If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
