This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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