Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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