Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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