I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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