So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize