i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
