So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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