I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
