i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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