Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
