please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
