This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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