ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
