we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
