When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
