it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
