Pappa wants mamma naked
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it because I queefed?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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