And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize