someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
