so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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