I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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