I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
