Betty ford says i'm here all night
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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