hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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