I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
